Drama Workshop: Ideas For Teaching Drama
OUT OF THIS WORLD
By Andrew McCann
ACT ONE: SCENE ONE
The Professor's Laboratory
(VARIOUS ROBOTS resembling people stand around the room. PROFESSOR HARCOURT-SMYTHE is making an adjustment to a remote control unit, when there is a knock at the door. FLORA, a robot dressed as a maid, stands to one side of the Professor.)
PROFESSOR Go and see who's at the door, Flora.
(FLORA walking stiffly, in a robotic manner, crosses to the stage left wing and is heard opening the door. She returns.)
FLORA It's four children, Professor.
PROFESSOR Tell them I don't want any.
(FLORA crosses to the door again and exits)
FLORA (Off-stage)He doesn't want any. (ENTER FLORA) They have got a letter for you, Professor.
PROFESSOR What kind of a letter?
FLORA I don't know. It's in an envelope.
PROFESSOR Open it and tell me what it says, Flora.
(FLORA crosses to stand beside the PROFESSOR.)
FLORA It says, "Dear Archibald,
I know you will be up to your neck in your experiments as usual when this letter arrives, so kindly accept my apologies for any inconvenience it may cause you.
It so happens that I 've been called away on a Yeti hunt in the Himalayas. I was wondering if you'd mind looking after the children while I'm away.
Thanks a lot,
Your grateful brother,
Marmaduke."
PROFESSOR No, I'm afraid I can't look after them. I'm far too busy.
FLORA "P.S. If you can't look after them, it's too bad. I've already left!"
PROFESSOR Oh no! At a time like this- and just when I was beginning to get somewhere with my experiments, too! They'd better come in, I suppose.
(ENTER JACKO, LUCY, JANE and SALLY.)
JACKO Hello, Uncle!
LUCY It's great to see you again.
PROFESSOR Is it? Yes, I suppose it is.
SALLY (Noticing the ROBOTS) Coo, what a lot of people! Are you having a party, Uncle!
PROFESSOR Of course not- no time. I'm far too busy for that!
JANE But who are all these people, Uncle?
PROFESSOR Oh, of course.... I get so used to them, I forget they're here!
SALLY Don't they ever go home?
PROFESSOR They don't need to. This is their home.
JACKO But I thought you lived on your own.
PROFESSOR I do- but they live with me.
JACKO It doesn't make sense to me!
PROFESSOR (Snapping impatiently) They're not people: they're robots!
JACKO, LUCY, JANE AND SALLY Robots!
PROFESSOR That's right.
JANE But they look just like real people!
PROFESSOR That's the whole idea.
SALLY What can they do?
PROFESSOR You've already met Flora. Well, she can do all the things a maid can do...and I've just programmed her to read and write, too.
SALLY Gosh! I wish I had one like that to do my home-work!
PROFESSOR It could be done- but I wouldn't recommend it.
SALLY Oh, why not?
PROFESSOR Because a child who doesn't do any home-work won't learn anything. Eventually the robot will know more than its master and then where will we be? Before long it'll be telling you what to do!
(LUCY points at the Professor's remote control unit.)
LUCY What's this for, Uncle? It looks a bit like a calculator.
PROFESSOR That's the remote control unit. When I press this button I can make any one or even all the robots raise their arms, like this.
(The PROFESSOR presses the button and he and the CHILDREN are kicked from behind by the ROBOTS.)
ALL Ouch!
PROFESSOR Sorry about that. I always forget which button is meant to do what!
(LUCY points to AGGIE, one of the ROBOTS.)
LUCY What does this robot do, Uncle? It looks just like our neighbourhood gossip.
PROFESSOR Funny you should say that. She is in fact a "Gossiping Robot."Let me show you what she can do....
(ThePROFESSOR presses a button on the remote control unit.)
AGGIE I shouldn't really be saying this, so keep it to yourself, love- but did you 'ear about Mrs. What's'ername who lives across the road from old man Whatdoyoucallit's at the end of the High Street- Well! - She went to you know where with you know who and do you know what? She thinks nobody noticed. Well I did- and so did Mrs So-and-So next door- and if she doesn't tell everyone, nobody will. Serves her right for doing it in the first place, if you ask me. Not that it's any of my business, or yours for that matter.....
PROFESSOR She's programmed to spend a long time saying very little indeed. We've got one or two inquisitive neighbours around here who are always wanting to know what I'm up to with my experiments....So as soon as I see them coming, I send Aggie, here, out shopping.
LUCY Wow! I bet they never even get as far as the door!
PROFESSOR I update the gossip regularly to make sure she keeps them occupied. That's where Prudence comes in. She's a much quieter robot. She listens to gossip in the village, like this.
(He presses a button on the remote control unit and PRUDENCE steps forward.)
PRUDENCE Yes.....Of course......Fancy that!......That's true!
PROFESSOR She records the conversations she hears in a digital recording device. They are then transferred to the memory of Aggie, the gossiping robot. Each of the other robots serves a different purpose. I've got one that grows vegetables in the garden; another one that cooks the meals- and a whole team of domestic servants to do the house-work! They get on with the chores, leaving me free to get on with my secret project....Oooops!......I shouldn't have said that!
LUCY Secret project, Uncle?
JACKO That sounds interesting!
LUCY Please tell us about it.
PROFESSOR I can't really see the point in a secret project if everyone knows about it.....
JACKO But we're not everyone- we're family- and we won't tell anyone!
SALLY No, we won't!
LUCY Please tell us, Uncle!
PROFESSOR Oh, very well- I suppose I'll have to tell you now. Trust me to open my big mouth!........I'm building a space craft!
ALL CHILDREN Gosh!
SALLY Where is it, Uncle?
JANE Can we go in it?
PROFESSOR Well, actually, you are standing in it now. This may look like an ordinary room in a house, but in reality it's the interior of a space craft. It maintains its own gravitational pull and pumps out a constant supply of oxygen, thus preventing the need for occupants to wear space-suits.
JANE I'd never have guessed!
SALLY What a fantastic idea!
PROFESSOR If I'd built it outside, it would no longer be a secret. The whole world would know about it by now- and I wouldn't be able to move for the media circus!
LUCY You'll never get it out of the door! It's too big!
PROFESSOR I won't need to do that. The outer walls of the house are merely camouflage.The roof will open up when the time comes to launch the space craft- and it will close again afterwards with such speed that no-one will be any the wiser! You see, I have discovered a concentrated form of energy that will enable me to travel so fast that I will be able to travel beyond the known universe in a fraction of a second.
JACKO Can we go with you, Uncle?
LUCY Please say we can! Please say we can!
PROFESSOR No, I'm afraid not.
SALLY We'd behave ourselves!
PROFESSOR I'm sure you would- but no, I could never let you go.
JACKO Why not?
PROFESSOR I shall be travelling to the darker frontiers of space where no space craft from Earth has ever ventured before. There is no saying what dangers may lurk in the great unknown.
SALLY I can't see how you can possibly manage on your own in space, Uncle. Surely you need a crew to help you.
PROFESSOR That's where my robots will come in. I can reprogram them at any time to suit the circumstances I meet. For instance, I already have one who can service the space module and another who is able to establish atmospheric conditions and make geological reports.
JACKO Fantastic!
PROFESSOR Now maybe you understand why I am so keen to keep my work secret. There are some who would say that I am mad and that it is impossible to achieve such things. I know it can be done- and the only way I can prove it is to do it myself.
JACKO Sounds like magic to me, Uncle.
PROFESSOR There is a fine line between science and magic. When our early cave ancestors discovered fire it must have seemed like magic to them......(becoming drowsy) ......I am beginning to ramble.....You must forgive me.........I have been working for days without a rest........I am a little drowsy to say the least.........Believe me that all that I have said is true......z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z.........(He falls asleep and begins to snore loudly.)
JANE (shaking him) Uncle!
SALLY He's fast asleep!
JACKO Don't disturb him. He looks exhausted!
(As SALLY, JACKO and JANE discuss whether or not to awaken their Uncle, in the background, LUCY picks up the remote control unit and shares her thoughts with the audience in the foreground.)
LUCY I'm going to enjoy it here!
(She presses a button. As she does so, all the ROBOTS begin to walk.)
These robots are a lot of fun!
(She presses another button and THE ROBOTS stop and sit down.)
Look at that! I've made them all sit down!.... Wonder what they'll do if I press this button?
(She presses a button and THE ROBOTS laugh hysterically.)
I've made them laugh- and I haven't even said anything funny!
(She presses another and THE ROBOTS begin to cry.)
I've turned them into big cry babies, now!
(SALLY notices what LUCY is up to and crosses towards her to stop her, followed by JACKO and JANE)
SALLY Hey, Lucy! Leave them alone! You might damage them!
LUCY Don't be a spoilsport, Sally!
(She snatches the remote control unit away from Sally's hands and moves her finger towards a red button.)
Wonder what this red button does? Well, there's one way to find out!
(As she presses the button, all the ROBOTS and CHILDREN are flung uncontrollably from one side of the room to another, before toppling over as the space craft blasts into space. THE PROFESSOR remains fast asleep.)
JACKO What have you done, Lucy!
LUCY I only pressed a button. Don't know what all the fuss is about!
SALLY You've only launched the space-craft, that's all!
JANE Oh, heck! Wonder where we'll end up!
JACKO Could be anywhere, if what Uncle's told us is correct!
(The movement of THE ROBOTS and CHILDREN suggests a violent jolt as the space craft reaches its destination.)
SALLY Well, we've landed! We'll soon find out!
(JACKO shakes THE PROFESSOR who is still fast asleep.)
JACKO Wake up, Uncle! Something awful has happened!
PROFESSOR What? .....Don't wake me.......I'm tired....z-z-z-z-z-z-.....(He begins to snore again.)
SALLY But Uncle! Lucy's launched your space craft by mistake!
PROFESSOR Yes, of course she has.....There's a clever girl..........Now let me get some sleep......
(THE PROFESSOR sits bolt upright, eyes opened wide, as the truth dawns.)
What! You've launched the space craft!!!!
SALLY Yes, Uncle-
(As THE PROFESSOR glares angrily at her, she pushes LUCY to the front.)
Well, Lucy has.
PROFESSOR Oh no! Whatever made you do such a stupid thing as that?
LUCY I only pressed a little red button. Where are we, Uncle?
PROFESSOR We could be anywhere. The control has not been set for any particular destination.
JACKO Let's go outside and find out!
PROFESSOR It's not as easy as that. You will need a space-suit.
JACKO Great- I've always wanted to wear one of those!
PROFESSOR Well, it's too bad. You didn't give me any time to do any packing.
JACKO You mean we haven't got any with us?
PROFESSOR That is exactly what I mean.
LUCY Let me press that little red button, so we can go back home again.
PROFESSOR It's not as easy as that. There is insufficient fuel on board to allow us to make a return journey.
JACKO So we're stuck here! Not for long, I hope.
PROFESSOR For good, unless we're fortunate enough to find the raw materials to make rocket fuel on this planet.
JACKO But if we can't go outside....
PROFESSOR That would be very unwise until we know a little more about this planet.
(He picks up the remote control unit and ANDROMEDA steps forward.)
ANDROMEDA Reporting for duty, Professor!
PROFESSOR Go outside and report on the physical and atmospheric conditions of this planet, Andromeda.
ANDROMEDA Instructions understood!
(ANDROMEDA crosses stage left and exits.)
PROFESSOR I'll send the rest of the robots to the recharging room. If Andromeda brings bad news, I want them ready for action.
(THE PROFESSOR presses another button on the remote control unit and THE ROBOTS exit stage right.)
(ENTER ANDROMEDA stage left.)
JACKO Andromeda's back already! That was quick!
PROFESSOR Her sensors and specimen extractors absorb sufficient data and physical evidence in a fraction of a second. She will be able to tell us all we need to know for now. What are the atmospheric conditions on the planet, Andromeda?
ANDROMEDA They resemble Earth, Professor. There is sufficient oxygen to sustain human life forms.
PROFESSOR Glad to hear it! Anything else to report?
ANDROMEDA No, but here is a rock specimen.
(ANDROMEDA drops the rock on the Professor's toe.)
PROFESSOR Yeeeeeeouchhhhhh!!! Remind me to program you to give me things when I get a spare minute, will you?
ANDROMEDA I will remind you, Professor.
PROFESSOR You may join the other robots in the recharging room, Andromeda.
ANDROMEDA Thank you, Professor.
(Exit ANDROMEDA stage right.)
PROFESSOR This rock is a most interesting. If it's anything to go by, the geological structure of the planet bears many similarities to Earth.
JACKO So there's a good chance we'll find what we need to power the space craft, Uncle!
PROFESSOR There most certainly is, because rock is the raw material I need. But it must meet certain conditions, or the consequences could prove disastrous.
JANE How do you make it into a liquid to pour into the fuel tank?
PROFESSOR Ah, that is easy. I don't. That is where other scientists have gone wrong in the past. It is more concentrated in this form. That is why we were able to travel such a great distance so quickly.
LUCY Coo, who'd have thought a rock could have caused us to travel all this way!
JACKO That must be why it's called rock-et fuel!
PROFESSOR Andromeda's report suggests that it should be safe enough for us to explore the planet without space-suits. Let's do just that and seek out a fuel supply as a matter of urgency.
JACKO Great! Come on, what are we waiting for!
PROFESSOR Not so fast! Let me lead the way. There's no saying what we might find out there.
LUCY I'm scared. I don't want to go outside!
SALLY Oh, don't be a baby, Lucy. There's nothing to be scared of.
LUCY How do you know? There could be anything out there. I'm scared!
SALLY Well, if you want to stay here on your own, I'm sure Uncle won't mind.
LUCY No,no....I-I'm s-scared of staying here on my own.
SALLY Then come with us, you soppy thing!
(Exeunt)
İAndrew McCann
Drama Workshop: Ideas For Teaching Drama